We practice it every time we walk into a home for a home removal, every time we meet with grieving families, and every time we direct a funeral. As we all face this pandemic and the unknowns that come with it, we’ll have to focus our superpowers outwardly towards others AND inwardly towards ourselves. In fact, most of us only know how to use our superpowers for others, but we hardly ever use them for ourselves. If you’ve followed by blog, you know Caleb-the-blogger, but I’m hoping that Caleb-the-book-writer can find a space in your life as well.If you’re in death care (or any type of caretaker position, paid or unpaid), you probably already have these superpowers. This book is essentially the story how I become comfortable enough with death and the tragedy in the world to believe that I could not only father a child, but that the world is good enough for children. I’m ready to be a dad” was only possible because I reframed death. And the process of adoption allowed me to pause, it allowed me to ask - really ask - if I could be a dad.įor me as a funeral director who saw too much tragedy as a young man, the process of being able to say, “Yes. One of the only options for people like us is adoption. As hard as it is to realize you can’t conceive children, infertility does allow for something: it allows you to question how much you really want children. My wife and I can’t have kids on our own. It’s written for individuals and it has a group discussion section. Since it’s release, it’s been featured on Vice and Country Living, ETWN (a Catholic TV station) and The Cut (a progressive news organization that offers stark contrasts to Catholic beliefs). And I think this book is comfortable in different spaces. But out dead can both be absent and present, they are quiet and they still speak, they are both dead and live on through us.Īny book that’s written about death shouldn’t be written with easy yes or no answers about grief, death and dying. We like binaries, the either/or of yes or no, absent or present, on or off. Our dead exist in liminality, the in-between where they are dead and living. Maybe my next book will? It’s comfortable in a number of spaces. No, actually despite my bad writing, I’m hoping that this book can become a companion to those who are journeying through death, dying and coming to terms with their mortality. I’ve had a number of people tell me they’ve read it a couple times BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO TORTURE THEMSELVES WITH MY BAD WRITING. While all those things are important (what’s more important than cats?), I’ve always gravitated to gravitas. Bloggers write about cats, and food, and gaming, and if a manual breast pump is better than an electric breast pump for the working mother. While I retained those facets in writing a book, this book highlights some of my deeper thoughts set to my story in death care.īloggers aren’t always the deepest of folk. One of the things that I’ve feared in the release of my book is that “book writing Caleb” wouldn’t be as accepted as “blog writing Caleb.” Many of you have come to this blog over the years for a dose of light-heartedness, funeral industry talk and - every now and again - some deeper, more thoughtful posts.
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